contemplation upon a natal anniversary
February 21st, 2007 at 2:02 pm (About Rev. Keri)
Well. Yesterday was my thirtieth birthday. Natal anniversaries are interesting times, especially milestone days like the decade markers.
I have said goodbye to the long, exciting struggle of my twenties, and hopefully opened up a brave new world in my thirties. I think that reflection is important any time, but a natal anniversary is a good time.
Farewell, Twenties! What did I love and hate and learn and experience while within ye?
- I learned to live on my own, to make my own money, to spend it or save it as I wished.
- I learned to live with other people, from friends to total strangers. I learned never to leave my dirty dishes in the sink. I learned the difference between privacy and indifference.
- I stopped living up to other people’s expectations and began to define my own.
- I found a deep spiritual connection.
- I learned to respect, endure, and even enjoy four full seasons of the year.
- I lost people I loved; I found new loves and a spiritual family that endures despite distance.
- I accepted that I cannot manage money very well.
- I learned that I do not do well in a traditional office environment, working as an administrative professional.
- I hated living in one of the most exciting cities in the world and feeling trapped by lack of funds.
- I hated the lack of direction that came with hopping jobs and struggling to develop creative arts while surrounded by folks who made me feel inadequate.
- I loved my circle of friends.
- I loved being a regular at the pub.
- I loved walking and taking the subway.
- I hated living within easy distance of beaches and museums I never visited.
- I experienced terror, rage, panic, therapy, recovery, anxiety, paranoia, and hope.
- I learned to love my body.
- I published short fiction.
- I hated feeling such envy for friends, coworkers, and acquaintances who traveled, or did brilliant art, or published a book, or did something else that I wanted to do.
- I learned to channel envy into action toward my own goals.
- I stopped biting my fingernails.
- I began to pay attention to issues of sustainability and environmental impact in my life.
- I made a difficult decision to leave the places that I knew, the people that I loved, and the life I found increasingly stifling.
- I found new opportunities to build the life I want.
Thank you for the lessons, the joys, the sorrows, the adventures, Twenties!
Hello, Thirties! What dreams can I build with you? What foundations can I build to reach my castles in the air?
- I dream of a well-paying, creative job to which I am happy to go in the morning. (So far, so good!)
- I dream of financial well-being, savings, and comfort enough with my income to do things I enjoy.
- I dream of the ability to choose well-made, sustainable products, or to make my own.
- I dream of increasing time devoted to crafts.
- I dream of growing skill and development of style in illustration.
- I dream of a home of my own.
- I dream of a family of my own.
- I dream of enjoying my friends’ families.
- I dream of becoming a part of a local and international community.
- I dream of travel, international and domestic, with friends and alone.
- I dream of road trips.
- I dream of finding a spiritual niche in which I can root and grow.
- I dream of changing the world.
I’m entering this new stage of my life with a tremendous feeling that anything is possible. Despite the overwhelming weight of all the ills of the world, I see rampant joy, growing interdependence, and exciting opportunity.